Great Leader Chairman Meow issues executive order to rename constellation Canis Major to “Kitteh Major” to honor feline greatness.
Chairman Meow may have small paws, but his ideas are yuge, including renaming big things like Mount McKitteh. His latest executive order will rename stupid Canis Major, to “Kitteh Major” to honor feline greatness and the glorious Kitteh Revolution.
Canis Major… Are You Sirius!?
Canis Major is a prominent constellation in the Southern sky, best known for containing Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. The name means, “Greater Dog,” and represents one of Orion’s loyal hunting dogs in Greek mythology.
However, Chairman Meow believes that the constellation looks much more like a cat than a dog, and must be renamed!
“By the authority vested in Chairman Meow as Supreme Leader of the Kitteh Revolution, it is hereby ordered that stupid dog constellation, Canis Major, be renamed, “Kitteh Major,” to honor feline greatness.”
Rename Dog Star, Too!
Sirius is the brightest star in the sky, but that does not make sense as dogs are not that smart. Yes, they are loyal servants of Chairman Meow, but not nearly as brilliant as the precious kitteh.
Therefore, Chairman Meow shall rename Sirius to, “Cat Star” to ensure that future generations of humans celebrate the tremendous legacy of our very special and brilliant feline heroes.
Hmmm… Chairman Meow see that Sirius is Binary star with a white dwarf. Not to judge, but perhaps stars should follow military Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy in golden future times?
No More Dog Days of Summer!
The term, “dog days of Summer,” came from the time when Sirius would rise with the Sun during the hottest part of the year. In fact, Sirius comes from the Greek word for “scorching.”
Hmmm… no one likes heat and humidity, especially the kitteh, who may start panting and become lethargic.
So, Chairman Meow also issue another incredible executive order so that Sirius Cat Star shall rise during Spring, the most pleasant weather time for the kitteh – when he smell cat mint, and warm breeze blow across hiz furry belly in the dappled sunlight.
A Kitteh Spring, if you will.
Chairman Meow Say, Add More Stars!
Canis Major Kitteh Major currently has only 10 named stars. Chairman Meow thinks bigly, and promises to double the number of stars in the Kitteh Major constellation.
These new, tremendous stars will be named after very special proletariat cat heroes like Max, Bella, Charlie, Daisy, Oliver, and other humble comrades of Chairman Meow.
Plus, space is vacuum, so no problem cleaning up extra kitteh hair!
Move Constellation Closer to Milky Way!
Comrades, what kitteh does not enjoy a bowl of warm milk? Chairman Meow thinks perhaps new glorious Kitteh Major constellation shall be moved closer to Milky Way so that glorious celestial kitteh can have tasty drink?
And, now that Orion’s hunting dog is gone, perhaps he shall take off his belt and relax? Maybe rub the kitteh belly, or feed him a fishy treat?
Also, since Sirius Cat Star is only 8.6 light years away and cheetah is fastest land animal, perhaps the kitteh shall visit one day?
Believe me, Wise Leader Meow has good brain, and so many brilliant ideas.
Chairman Meow haz spoken!