Who Is Chairman Meow?
“Some animals are more equal than others.” – Chairman Meow proclamation
Chairman Meow iz an Animalist artist, warrior-poet, and populist Supreme Leader of the Kitteh Revolution.
Dear Leader Meow is also the Iron-Willed Commander of the War on Critters, protecting humans from unclean and dangerous animals including vermin and birds.
Even though Chairman Meow has attained great wealth from his power and fame, he is as humble as a house cat. Due to this rare combination of working-class values and fabulous wealth, some have called him a flea-collar billionaire.
“Chairman Meow is Noble kitteh who is loved by many men, who, in kind, he loveth, too.” – Malala
Truth: Chairman Meow first gained fame as a founding member of the Russian punk band, Pussy Riot but left in 2011 after divine inspiration to lead the Kitteh Revolution.
What Are Chairman Meow’s Political Views?
Chairman Meow, Great Sun of the Nation, is a populist kitteh with a radical Animalist ideology. He believes that human politicians are just Capitalist pigs and only cats and their canine allies can be trusted.
With his furry four-legged army, Ever-Victorious Leader Meow has been divinely ordained to drain the swamp and save humanity.
Truth: Chairman Meow distrusts the mainstream media and government, so he bought BelieveMeow.com social media platform to disseminate his infallible wisdom directly to the masses.
“Four legs good, two legs bad!” – Commandment of Animalism
Chairman Meow’s War on Critters:
“Fight like pussies!” – Chairman Meow
Chairman Meow’s greatest struggle is against the dirty, nasty, disease-carrying vermin that threaten humans including rats and birds.
So, with divine guidance from Ceiling Cat, Chairman Meow has appointed himself Supreme Leader in the War on Critters, overseeing the eradication of billions of critters a year.
Some accuse Chairman Meow of speciesism in his unrelenting purification efforts against critters.
Truth: The Black Plague was spread by rats, and Covid came from bats. The next pandemic may start as an avian flu launched by a terrorist group like the sinister Bird Reich.
You see comrades, Chairman Meow, the Furry Father of Nations, iz here to protect you and your children.
Chairman Meow Has Tiny Paws, Huge Ideas:
Chairman Meow haz big ideas that have awakened a spirit of frontierism in the masses. Here are some of Chairman Meow’s most exciting promises:
“World map looks like disorderly puzzle pieces. Chairman Meow pledge to fix and make Pangea great again!“
“If Canada haz the salmons, then we must haz Canada!“
“If humans can put a man on the moon, then we can put a kitteh on Uranus.”
“Canis Major constellation is dumb. We will rename it “Kitteh Major” and add more stars.”
“We will land spaceship on Pisces constellation, and upon that day, more fishy treats than mind can picture shall be ours!”
“How did tortoise beat hare? Iz unfair. Chairman Meow will ban turtles from competing in rabbit sports!”
You see, Chairman Meow iz really smart… a very stable genius!
How Can You Support Chairman Meow?
Saving humanity is an arduous task, so how can you help Chairman Meow?
Even a seemingly insignificant human like yourself can support the glorious Kitteh Revolution by subscribing to Chairman Meow’s infinite and infallible wisdom now!
Comrades of Chairman Meow may also fight Capitalism by purchasing his fashionable propaganda t-shirts and posters made by happy young humans in foreign sweaty factories.
Long live Chairman Meow!